I wouldn’t be writing this chapter if it was not necessary for your survival. No one will ever accept the fact that something terrible has happened to them. Imagine telling a woman who lost her four children to accept it and move on. She will look at you like the most inhuman being that ever existed on earth. Unfortunately, before you heal or overcome a terrible situation such as grief or loss, you must accept it first.
The main aim of sharing my story is to encourage people battling with metastasis to believe in hope. I have tried to elucidate the hopelessness of stage 4 breast cancer. The diagnosis is not easily acceptable, but before you start looking for a solution or cure, you must acknowledge it. Therefore, the first step you must take in this journey is acceptance.
Yes! I have said that you must accept the situation to move on, but it is not always easy. The first time you hear that you have stage 4 breast cancer, it will always seem like a dream. Afterward, you will pass through many emotional stages of grief. Yes! Such a diagnosis will force you to grieve as though someone has died. You will feel as if you just received your death sentence. Well, metastasis is like that unless you accept it and get to work and look for a solution. If you hear such an announcement and start grieving without hope, you will die before your time.
To help you understand the emotions running through you right now, let’s consider the five stages of grief by Kubler-Ross. Although the author was referring to the stages we pass through when we lose someone, we can relate it to this situation. According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, grief comes in five stages. Some people refer to these stages as DABDA (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance)
Author: Isabella Milan
Book title: Praying For a Miracle When it’s Hopeless
Genre: Memoir/ Inspirational
Publish date: November 23 2019
Praying for Hope when it’s Hopeless is about my physical, mental, and emotional struggle with Stage 4 Breast Cancer while going through a gut-wrenching divorce, and a fight for custody of my son. In 2004 and 2005, I had many battles with breast cancer resulting in two mastectomies and reconstruction surgeries. In 2007, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer with metastasis to my brain.
Shortly after brain surgery, I was sent away in a wheelchair and a diaper by my husband back to my family in CA, leaving me penniless and hopeless. I have no answers as to why my husband tried abandoning me, divorcing me, and leaving me for dead fighting for my life, and visitation or custody of my son. I may have lost a few battles along the way.
But, thanks to God, I won the war! Included in my book are tips that helped me to recover. I am currently enjoying seeing my son experiencing college life; a site I never thought I’d survive to see. I shared my story to give hope to victims, survivors, families, and friends. They must know that this diagnosis isn’t a death sentence.